i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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