i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
