im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
