There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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