the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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