rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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