just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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