??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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