Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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