they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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