I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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