Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They took my balls.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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