I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize