The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my sisters under your porch take her home
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
