dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
