I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
