the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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