sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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