Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
why do cheetos always look like penises
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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