note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
