Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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