My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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