You're so nebulous sometimes
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
