I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
