We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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