Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
