even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
