Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize