I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
