I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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