I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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