I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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