His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
