there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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