So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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