she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
