Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
