Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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