This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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