Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..