I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes