Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  you sound like my dream girl

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  (913): is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us? (312): you sound like my dream girl http://tfl.nu/joww
  Replies (44) Good night (4521) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sounds like a blessing in disguise

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  (734): I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth (248): Sounds like a blessing in disguise http://tfl.nu/a82v
  Replies (13) Good night (2589) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.

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  (773): Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success. http://tfl.nu/jhei
  Replies (43) Good night (4206) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

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  (918): the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/e8cz
  Replies (61) Good night (5777) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea

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  (847): eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea http://tfl.nu/myhx
  Replies (7) Good night (604) Bad night (3621)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (8980) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?

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  (914): Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later? http://tfl.nu/xxzo
  Replies (20) Good night (4669) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  Does an alley count?

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  (514): please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom... (1-514): Does an alley count? http://tfl.nu/n7ir
  Replies (8) Good night (1376) Bad night (2859)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there

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  (623): Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there http://tfl.nu/vurv
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?

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  (410): I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth? http://tfl.nu/108c
  Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

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  (703): He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box http://tfl.nu/9koo
  Replies (8) Good night (963) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?

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  (978): Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own? http://tfl.nu/mi3t
  Replies (8) Good night (1974) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport

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  (515): So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport http://tfl.nu/uoc3
  Replies (9) Good night (652) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me

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  (727): On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired (727): I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me http://tfl.nu/zcpy
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'll pay?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Pick me up at 9.

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  (206): Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you. (425): I'll pay? (206): Pick me up at 9. http://tfl.nu/l115
  Replies (2) Good night (967) Bad night (377)

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