My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.