sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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