so that wasnt chicken after all
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
