At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
