Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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