He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
