Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
