I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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