I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
