he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we're making bets on your personal life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
