is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
