Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
