let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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