D3 body, D1 cock
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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