No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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