she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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