i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
